Even after earning a master’s degree, I lived paycheck to paycheck for years. I had a mountain of credit card debt, student loans, and a car that was always breaking down.

From this nothing-to-lose place in my twenties, I seized the opportunity to move across the country and start over. When I drove my little hatchback 2K miles west, everything I owned in the world fit inside.

To kickstart my new life, I applied at a temp agency. My first California job paid more than I had ever made before. I went from struggling to comfortable almost overnight.

While I did demonstrate some responsibility by paying off debt, having discretionary income for the first time in my life sans financial savvy resulted in reckless spending habits. The dopamine hit of clicking “Place Order” from my online shopping cart was intoxicating. I just kept filling closets and drawers, year after year, until I ran out of places to cram things.

Square footage in my home started disappearing.

And so did my work-life balance. The stress was intense. I felt like I was supposed to be doing something else with my life, yet I doubled down, working nights and weekends to avoid disappointing bosses and colleagues. But I DID disappoint and deprioritize my loved ones. I showed up late for date nights with my partner and declined so many outings with friends that they stopped calling me.

I ignored my discontent and buried my overwhelming dread for a wasted life in more clothes and home goods. When my anxiety became unmanageable, I had the stunning revelation that my work ethic was, in fact, rooted in a lack of self worth + no boundaries.

The scope-creep and long hours were not my employer’s fault. It was me. I had an unhealthy relationship with work and no clear vision for my life. And I had developed an addiction to buying stuff to make it suck less. 👠👗👚👖👢

With this new self-awareness, I vowed to make different choices.

I decided to buy nothing for a period of several months. Without the constant stream of new things coming into the house, I became more aware of what I already had. I started to notice what I rarely touched versus items I used often and with relish. I began warming to the idea of letting go of the untouched things.

I carved out a weekend to declutter one closet. It was so jam-packed that I nearly filled a whole room with its contents when I started pulling things out. It took me eight hours to clean out eight square feet. I was completely unaware that I possessed half of what I found in there!

The following weekend, I tackled another closet. Then another, followed by a home office clearout where I blew out the motor on my shredder after emptying the fifth banker’s box into it.

The more I purged, the angrier 🤬 I felt about the sheer volume of physical stuff I had to deal with, and the more ruthless I became when making decisions about what to toss or donate. Over and over again, I would say to various objects, “What value do you bring to my life?”

I imagined how much compound interest would have accrued if I had invested my money instead of buying all this stuff. Or better yet, the memories I could have made with loved ones if I had prioritized time and experiences instead of things.

Suddenly, it was easy to let go. The prospect of buying more stuff that I would later need to make decisions about held zero charm.

Something unexpected happened. I felt the same rush from putting things in the donation pile that I used to get when clicking the “Place Order” button.

Slowly, I freed myself from the cycle of buying things, putting things away, looking for stuff that was hidden behind other stuff, not finding it, then buying it again…

And magic happened.

-The symptoms of anxiety and panic disorder that had gripped me since childhood subsided.
- I had free time.
- I was able to save enough money to leave my full-time job and deeply consider the life I wanted.
- I got clear about what my values and boundaries are and began practicing techniques to help me honor them.
- I became conscious of a relentless stream of self-loathing and fear-based thoughts and started replacing them with a kinder, gentler script. (Still working on that.)

Eventually I decluttered my entire home. Then I tackled my digital life and got a Will in place. I even repaired some relationships. The serenity I felt was better than any high I ever got from shopping.

Finally, I asked myself a question. If I could do anything I wanted for the sheer joy of it, what kind of work would I do? In other words, what is my purpose?

THIS.

It really hit me, the full impact that decluttering and getting organized had had on my life. This process is not just about tidying up. It is an examination of one’s life and values, and a resetting of priorities.

Ever since, I’ve been on a mission to help delightfully imperfect humans let go of what no longer serves them.

Maybe it’s a too-small garment that makes you question whether your body is still worth loving. The voice of your ex-partner reminding you that you’ll never be good enough. Or a list of to-do’s you’ve been putting off so long that you feel like a failure.

Baby, go get a garbage bag.

You don’t have to live weighed down by bullsh*t.

I will help you.